Colors
by blveroan
Summary: The sun has to set sometime.


Hinata Shouyou was an open book. His facial expressions, his reactions, the way he moved; they all showed how he felt in that single moment. The ones who knew him would tell you that he felt nothing in moderation. When he was happy, which was most of the time, his energy touched everyone around him. When he was angry, it consumed his entirety and made others think twice about underestimating him. When he was sad.. well, he was almost never sad. His teammates had seen him in his disheartened state, some had even seen him cry in frustration or anger. But to truly be sad? It seemed impossible for one such as Hinata Shouyou. The boy may push himself 'til he's battered and bruised, but his mind was unbreakable. At least, that's what everyone thought.

It started when Hinata was studying with Kageyama one night, excusing himself to go to the bathroom. Kageyama, of course, thought nothing of it, until 20 minutes had passed and the redhead still had not returned. He was quick in everything he did; what could possibly be taking him so long? So, being the friend he was - the setter was still getting used to the term - Tobio got up and went to check on the smaller boy. Raising a hand to knock on the door, once again thinking nothing of it, he was surprised to hear sniffles from the other side of the door. "Hinata..?"

The cries stopped so suddenly that he thought he heard choking. "...A-Are you ok?" His voice came out taught; as concerned as he may be, he wasn't used to expressing his worry.

Kageyama expected something along the lines of, _'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!'_

Not, "Can you go home for the night? I'm sorry."

Pursing his lips, the taller boy nodded, feeling hurt but trying to brush it aside. He was sensible enough to know that Hinata wouldn't let him leave unless something was seriously wrong. "Are you sure you're-"

"I'm _fine_."

Gulping, Tobio stiffly turned around before walking towards the front door, spotting his mom in the kitchen. "Uh... thanks for having me. I- I think Shouyou needs help. He's... in the bathroom," he managed to choke out before stepping out into the warm spring air.

* * *

Hinata only seemed to get stranger from there. His teammates were worried.

Kageyama was frightened.

Shouyou felt so far away from him now. It was as if the temperature had dropped 80 degrees without his own personal sun to keep him warm. When had he thought so highly of the decoy? Would he leave him like everyone else did? It was scary how much their relationship had developed from when they'd first met. He never expected to be so close to anyone, let alone someone like _Hinata_.

It was when he approached the boy at lunch the next day that he knew something was very off.

"Kageyama!" Hinata shouted, as chipper as usual, except it was so slow the way he said it; it rubbed him the wrong way.

The little ball of energy continued to ramble at him, albeit in a slurred fashion, about his day. When he got close enough to Kageyama, the setter wrinkled his nose.

"What is that smell?"

"Hah?" Hinata's eyes darted to the side to look at something, his relaxed demeanor suddenly shifting gears. He seemed more nervous now. "Are you sayin' I stink? Wanna fight?" he barked, still avoiding his friend's eyes.

"No, I want to know what that smell is," the taller boy said, stepping closer and peering around Hinata before the redhead sidestepped in front of him and blocked his view.

"It's _nothing_ ," he grunted, suddenly sounding much less chipper than he was before.

Not wanting to upset him any further, Kageyama dropped the subject and walked over to their usual spot to eat lunch with him, despite the feeling that he shouldn't have let this go so easily.

* * *

Hinata called it dope.

Of course, he never outright told him this. It was only when Kageyama caught him smoking some that he fessed up. At that point, he was so high he really didn't seem to care what Kageyama thought of him, only laughing at his enraged expression.

 _'What's wrong, Kageyama, can't a guy cut loose once in a while?'_

It got to where the boy skipped school, skipped volleyball practice, to get his high. He could no longer function without it.

His little ball of sunshine was losing his color.

He was so far away, so far.

 _What happened to you, Shouyou?_

Kageyama cried himself to sleep that night.

* * *

Their first fight was when Kageyama caught him with a needle and syringe.

When the boy stumbled into Hinata's room, Hinata yelled at him to get out, _get the fuck out!_

Of course, the setter was way more stubborn than that. Stomping over to him, he ripped the needle out of his hands and pinned the redhead down on his bed as he hurled every insult he could at the black-haired boy, struggling to free his limbs so he could kick, punch, scratch, _anything_.

Each word stung, though Kageyama never showed it. He wouldn't. He was convinced Hinata needed him to be strong, that something was wrong, wrong, _wrong_ and he refused to accept Hinata had no rhyme or reason when he chose this path.

Eventually, Hinata gave up, and they held each other as he cried and cried.

* * *

Kageyama felt terrible, the guilt eating away at him like a cancer.

It wasn't heroine like he thought - _what else was he supposed to think?_ \- it was testosterone.

Everything made sense, but one thing didn't add up.

 _'Why didn't you tell me?'_

 _'How could I, Kageyama? How could I?'_

* * *

It was the end of their first semester as third years and Hinata still wasn't better.

Tobio thought it would get better, now that he knew.

He should have never assumed such a thing.

It began to seep into the smaller boy's everyday life. He no longer flashed smiles at everyone he knew. He spoke in a hushed voice, if he ever spoke at all, instead of his usual loud timbre.

One night, he admitted to Kageyama that he thought it'd be much easier on everyone, including himself, if he were gone.

The fear he felt shook him to his core, and while Shouyou slept soundly next to him, it felt as if he could never close his eyes again.

* * *

When he cradled Hinata's seizing body in his arms, blue pills scattered all around them, he screamed and cried, drowning out the frantic talking of Shouyou's mother as she called the ambulance.

* * *

It took a near-death experience to shock Hinata out of his stupor.

His energy returned with vigor, he got rid of all traces of drugs in his household, he pulled all-nighters to nurse his bad grades, and he wrote apology letters to each and every individual that was involved in his life.

It was never truly over, as Kageyama could recall firsthand what it was like to hold Hinata throughout his relapses. He could recall the cold sweat coating his skin, tremors shaking every part of his body as the taller boy held him tightly and would never let him go.

* * *

They shared their first kiss when their team took regionals.

No one was surprised, but everyone was ecstatic as they hooped and hollered, the two lovebirds breaking apart for a team group hug.

* * *

The two were always inseparable, their chemistry undeniable.

It seemed as if they became even more intertwined within each other's lives once they got together, though.

It was late at night during a movie marathon, where they had done nothing but criticize each other's tastes in movies, held each other's hands and shared kisses, when Kageyama finally blurted out those three words.

"I love you!"

Hinata blinked, before an ecstatic grin came over his face, his eyes squinting with the force of it.

"I know."

* * *

If Hinata believed in a god, Kageyama would be it.

His cold hands shook as he clumsily undressed Hinata, leaving sloppy kisses on his neck as the smaller boy let out soft moans.

"Tobio."

Blue eyes looked up at him expectantly, love and fear swirling in their depths.

"I love you too."

* * *

And every night when the sun finally set, they were no longer afraid.


End file.
